First is the Worst, Second is the Best, Third is Irrelevant for My Purposes

"Why the hell would we want to see the most northern point in Japan when we can see the second most northern point in Japan with more difficulty?"  I asked.  To me and Ryan, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable question.  To our Japanese friends, it took some explaining.  Clearly, the only reason that people come to this city in the middle of nowhere is to see the most northern part of the mainland.  That means the most northern part will be infected with all the people who we wanted to get away from.  You know, all them city folk with their new fangled phones, and their rock and roll music, and their Twinkies, and their science.  They'd just be a-gawkin at this 'n that, ta'in' pichurs n' laffin...  There would be fleets of busses whose insides looked like rocket ships complete with amenities and toilets and foot-rests and personal space.  There would be gift shops with hoozits and cloppits, bonkers and cadoodles, maybe even winkers and prots.  There might even be English...  Everywhere you go in Japan, you see English.  Most signs are bilingual.  (That means they like both ways equally, but I personally think that's bullshit.  I know they prefer one or the other...I'm on to you bi-signs...((shakes fist)))  I wanted to see a place that didn't have signs in English.  There must have been a time in Japanese history when all the signs weren't in English, right?  I mean, Japan is older than English, right?  Right?!  And, thankfully, for my sanity, Wakkanai was one such place.  The signs were emphatically not translated into English.  They were translated into Russian.  

WhAt?!

Yes, Russian.  The signs on stores and shops were emphatically translated into Russian.  Clearly, no place in Japan is just for Japanese people.    

But, beggars can't be choosers.  At least I had found that feeling that I didn't know what the signs around me said.  Truthfully, I understand what the Japanese says, but at least I could imagine that had I come here when I first came to Japan I wouldn't have known what they said.  And that's what I wanted.  (Don't worry.  That doesn't even make sense to me re-reading it.) 

 

At any rate, after a little sight-seeing near the station, Ryan and I got down to the real purpose of our trip.  It took about twenty minutes and a crowd of three different groups to find our bus station.  Five minutes was spent assuring them that I understood what I was saying in Japanese, another ten was spent assuring them that we indeed did want to go to the second most northern point, another four was spent once again assuring them that I knew the difference between 'most' and 'second most' in Japanese, and the final minute was them pointing to a bus stop fifteen feet from us, as the bus was pulling away...

Now, as you can imagine, busses to the second most northern point in Japan aren't very frequent.  This was also explained to me, as well as the fact that three busses to the most northern point would be leaving before the next bus to the second most northern point came again.  But, Ryan and I stood firm.  Finally, our rickety bus pulled up, and we got on.  Shockingly, other people were on the bus.  Of course, they all got off before the last stop.  Except for a pair of twenty-somethings like us.  These Japanese guys were living out of their bags.  Unshaven, unkempt, we had a nice drive to the last stop at the end of the line just the four of us.  Nobody said anything, but we all knew.  As the bus weaved in and out between the run-down, bad smelling factories and the food shops hanging on for dear life, we knew we were almost there, to the second end of the world.  And here it is.

Derek:  This is it?

Everybody in the world except Derek and Ryan: C'mon, Derek, what were you expecting?

This is Ryan at the second most north point in Japan.  Can you feel the excitement too?

There was also this dolphin thingy.

Now, my tone may be a little sarcastic, but that's just for your amusement, reader.  The truth is, I had a great time.  It was really quite a journey to get to the dolphin thingy.  Two hours by train from Kitakami to Sendai.  An hour plane ride from Sendai to Sapporo.  A six hour bus to Wakkanai.  The whole time, Ryan and I were talking, or just looking at the scenery go past us, or laughing at how strange we are.  Remember, anyone can go to the 'most something or other'.  Trips are designed around going to the most famous places in a city.  That's easy stuff, fed to you for your consumption enjoyment.  It's an altogether different trip if you want to go to the 'second most something or other.'  And, its probably cheaper too!

Also, I got to eat some delicious sea food ramen at a hole in the wall shop.  Now, if a Japanese person asks me what the best food in Wakkanai is, I have answer to give that might actually give him pause.  "Well, my friend, there's a little place up at the second most northern point in Japan...  Do you know it?  No?  Really?  Hmm."  Then again, he might just assume that it's the second best ramen in Wakkanai.

 

A view from the outside

A view from the inside.  Please note the fly-paper strips hanging right over the food-making area.

Fly sou~ er, I mean... Crab Ramen

Please recall that Wakkanai, the name of the place I went, sounds a lot like the Japanese word for, 'I don't know.'

Principal:  So, where are you going this vacation?

Derek:  I don't know.

Principal:  What?!

Derek:  I said, I don't know.

Principal:  No no... I heard you.  It's just that Chihiro Sensei told me you already bought your ticket.

Derek:  Yeah, I did.

Principal:  Well, what does it say on your ticket?

Derek:  I don't know.  

Principal:  Oh!  You can't read it, can you?

Derek:  No, I can read it just fine.  It says I don't know.

Principal:  How does the ticket know?

Derek:  How does the ticket know what?

Principal:  That you don't know.

Derek:  What?

I apologize.  But it was funny to me when that happened.